Summer.

Everyone enjoying summer so far? Or is everyone already feeling completely overwhelmed, like your entire schedule is packed from now until the first day of school?

This one’s short and sweet. It’s for all of the parents like me who are caught between wishing summer away and never wanting it to end.

The thought of summer break right around the corner used to be exciting. I couldn’t wait for long, sunny days filled with nothing but time. Sleeping in. Spontaneous adventures. Summer felt light, airy, and effortless.

But now? As a mom, summer makes me tense up.

Summer has stopped being a break and started feeling like a full-time job. Life (for me) is actually harder during the summer when you have small children. I know I am not telling you anything that you don’t already know and feel. Now, I am not saying it’s not more fun than the other seasons, the fun just takes much more effort and work on the back end. Parenting during the summer is like having a job without lunch breaks or PTO. One where I’m the activities director, lifeguard, cafeteria manager, chauffeur, entertainment coordinator, sunscreen applier… and just about everything else.

Like all things in motherhood, there’s the pressure to make it magical. To “soak up every moment” and never feel frustrated or overwhelmed. To create the kind of memories that will live in their heads forever. And of course, I want that for my kids, but sometimes (most of the time) it feels like I’m drowning in a sea of summer expectations. Oh, and let’s not forget work. Because yes, I still need to work while all this is happening. No big deal, right?

Which brings me to the ever so complicated topic of childcare. Or, more accurately, the lack of it. Finding a camp that fits my work schedule, that my kids actually want to attend, and that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg? It’s like finding a unicorn.

Lately, in all this chaos, I’ve been thinking a lot about boredom. I miss being bored. Like ACTUALLY bored. I’ve been wondering when boredom started to be a negative thing? I want my kids to know what boredom feels like, too. I want them to learn that fun doesn’t always come with a schedule, a sign up form, or a screen. Sometimes, fun is just a hose, a bucket, and a big enough stretch of time.

So, I’ve been forcing myself to step back and let them decide what their day holds (when I can). Of course, most days they whine. They complain. They say, “There’s nothing to do!” And I’m tempted to swoop in with an activity or a snack or a screen. But I’m learning to hold that line and to let them be uncomfortable and see what happens. If I am busy with work, I give them a few options, and safe places to be, then I tell them to go ahead and play. Most days (after the whining and 100 questions) they’re able to make it work.

So far, what I’ve noticed that every time I rescue them from boredom, I send the message that they can’t rescue themselves. And I refuse to let summer turn into a season where I burn out just so they don’t get bored.

So to the other moms out there who are quietly counting the days until school starts while also trying to freeze time. I see you. I’m right there with you. Just don’t forget that you deserve a summer, too.

Let’s trade the pressure to entertain for the permission to just exist. Let the popsicles melt. Let the days stretch. Let them get bored. You’re doing great.