Lessons From the Women in My Life.
My husband reminded me of something embarrassing the other day. Something I hate that I know I said to him when I went from working with all men to a majority of women about 15 years ago. I said that women were annoying. Yikes. I know exactly what I meant in that moment. I was working in an office with all men. Men who didn’t care about anything other than showing up, working, and going to drink a beer after. At 24, I became used to a certain work culture—one that was straightforward, transactional, and, in many ways, emotionally detached. The men I worked with didn’t ask about my weekend, didn’t check in if I seemed off, and certainly didn’t bring cupcakes for someone’s birthday. They showed up, did their work, and left. Simple. So, when I transitioned into an office full of women, I was completely unprepared for what that would mean.
The conversations were different. There was a depth to them—discussions about feelings, families, and frustrations that I wasn’t used to having at work. Collaboration was constant, decisions were discussed at length, and there was an overwhelming amount of caring. At first glance, it felt exhausting. I mistook connection for unnecessary complexity, and support for over-involvement. I took it as an annoyance instead of the gift it truly was.
What I didn’t realize back then was that I was stepping into something I would come to cherish—a workplace that didn’t just operate but nurtured its staff. A group of women who, while certainly capable of getting the job done, also knew the importance of checking in, lifting each other up, and making sure no one felt like they were navigating life alone.
It took time, but I eventually saw what I had been missing. I gained a group of women who would teach me about resilience, grace, and the power of community. And now, looking back, I cringe at that younger version of myself who didn’t see it right away. Because today, I couldn’t imagine my life without the women who have stood by me through every season.
The women in my life have shaped me in more ways than I can count. Some have been my greatest teachers, showing me what love, strength, and resilience look like. Others have taught me hard lessons—lessons about what not to do, about boundaries, about the kind of woman, mother, and friend I never want to be. But whether through love or hardship, every single one of them has left an imprint on me.
Motherhood, friendship, and love don’t come with a rulebook. Instead, we learn from the people around us. We watch, we absorb, and we decide which parts to carry with us and which parts to leave behind. I’ve been lucky to have women who have shown me the beauty of unwavering support, of showing up even when it’s hard, of loving people exactly as they are. They’ve taught me how to be the kind of mother who creates a safe and loving home, the kind of friend who listens without judgment, and the kind of woman who stands firm in her worth.
I’ve also encountered lessons wrapped in pain—relationships that taught me when to walk away, when to protect my energy, and when to stop seeking validation in places I’ll never find it. Those experiences have been just as powerful because they reminded me of the kind of example I want to set, not just for myself, but for my daughters.
While it took some time for me to realize and embrace all that the women in my life were teaching me, there were moments (that I attribute to my upbringing) where I still insisted on doing things on my own. I am sure there are a lot of you out there who insist on doing it all alone—I see you; I was you. I know the pride that comes with being independent, the instinct to handle everything yourself because it feels easier than asking for help. I know the fear of vulnerability, of letting someone else see the messy, unpolished parts of your life. But you deserve community. You deserve women who will show up for you, not because you’re weak, but because you shouldn’t have to be strong all the time. Let the women in your life step in. Let them offer help without feeling guilty. Let them celebrate you, comfort you, and carry some of the weight. Because you were never meant to do this alone.
Now, I am proud to say that I often say things that are the exact opposite of what I said to my husband 15 years ago. I lean so heavily into the women in my life on a daily basis in my professional and personal life for support, and they are anything but annoying. I am constantly telling anyone who will listen just how important it is to surround yourself with strong women.
This is a reflection on the women who have shaped me—the ones who lifted me up, the ones who challenged me, and even the ones who hurt me. Because in the end, they’ve all played a part in who I am today. The person I am proud to be.
